What If

by EarlyRise

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1.
Become Mad 04:50
[Verse 1] Hiding quietly in my room I was hoping you wouldn't be back so soon Felt my heart pounding as I crawled Slowly on the floor Felt your presence piercing through Guess I was never good enough for you Your shouting made me feel so small Desperate, insecure [Chorus] There's no room left for me in this shelter What did you expect me to become? No more than a disciplined little soldier Left no space for me to grow So I had to break away [Verse 2] It was getting harder to fall asleep Tried to let go but I was in too deep Then I started to realize Something's wrong with me My point of view got all twisted up You couldn't see I was crying out for help Treated me like I'm second best Now I trust no one but myself
2.
Don't tell me to stop No, you don't exactly set a good example Stay right where you are while you criticize me I can't bear your lecture I think I've figured out What you're all about So maybe you should leave me the fuck alone Talk about your plans But you don't do anything but praise yourself You don't appreciate me And what I do is never good enough For you Spent too much of my time trying to please you Didn't get me anywhere Now I can't afford to waste another second From now on I'm gonna do it my way Now all you talk about Is how bad I turned out Guess you'll never leave me the fuck alone Talk about your plans But you don't do anything but praise yourself You don't appreciate me And what I do is never good enough For you Look at me, on my own now And I'm better than ever Don't wanna play on the safe side And end up just like you Talk about your plans But you don't do anything but praise yourself You don't appreciate me And what I do is never good enough For you
3.
What If 04:10
Let's say I fell into place, I feel much better I don't remember a thing Would it make you think of me as normal again? Let's say I found a way to climb up this ladder Won't stay down here for long Would it make me worthy in your eyes? You act as if you have no weaknesses I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you What if I went and told everyone my story And how you treated me? Would it make you feel ashamed? No, I'm not being sarcastic Would you like me to erase Who I am, where I came from What you did to me? You act as if you have no weaknesses I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you Don't you get tired of wearing your mask? I'm sorry I'm not careless like you
4.
Memories 03:45
Funny how in just one moment Things can turn upside down Wish I could turn back time to When you were still around And all I got left is memories Of your face smiling at me Used to say that we should all Just handle this differently Took us all by surprise No, we never saw this coming Always were, always will be Our hero With no warning sign One day, they came and They took you away Remember everything that you said? How we can never fully trust them Wish I could say I disagree But I know they're the ones to blame Destroyed every hope we once had Nothing we can do now that you're gone No way to bring you back Took us all by surprise No, we never saw this coming Always were, always will be Our hero With no warning sign One day, they came and They took you away Things can be so unfair You were taken away Before your time Now we're all sitting here, Nothing left for us to say Don't want to leave you behind Took us all by surprise No, we never saw this coming Always were, always will be our hero With no warning sign One day they came And took you away Took us all by surprise No, we never saw this coming Always were, always will be our hero With no warning sign One day they came And took you away...
5.
Old Friend 04:11
[Verse 1] Hello old friend, do you still think of me? And how I used to be? We never went too far I can't stand the thought of being with anyone but you But I can still remember all the pain That you put me through [Chorus X2] And I've got so much left to say, say Don't want this all to fade away [Verse 2] It's been so long yet you won't talk to me You act so differently Wonder if you care Looking back, retracing every single step we made Was there anything I could have said or done To make you stay? [Chorus X2] And I've got so much left to say, say Don't want this all to fade away [Verse 3] Guess it's too late to fix my mistakes And now you're nowhere in sight Moved on with your life, left me in the past Forgot about my existence
6.
Face Me 04:56
Step out of the shade, And I'm not afraid anymore Yes, I declare war I won't fall asleep, I'll stay up and keep singing this song Until I prove you wrong Will you ever realize it's not my fault? Should care about your situation, But I don't 'Cause if you think of it, You brought this on yourself Can't blame me for the wrong choices that you made So why let this all die, After everything we've been through? Just try to compromise Are you listening to anything I'm saying anyway Or do you just not care? Now you've crossed the line, You can't take what's mine Not this time I won't let it pass me by Will you ever realize it's not my fault? Should care about your situation, But I don't 'Cause if you think of it, you brought this on yourself Can't blame me for the wrong choices that you made So why let this all die, After everything we've been through? Just try to compromise Why don't you face me for once Instead of looking away? It's time to break your silence Are you gonna keep playing dead 'til everybody's gone You better change Before you end up all alone Why let this all die, After everything we've been through? Just try to compromise Why let this all die, After everything we've been through? Just try to compromise Why don't you face me for once Instead of looking away? It's time to break your silence Are you gonna keep playing dead 'til everybody's gone You better change Before you end up all alone
7.
China 03:24
Everywhere you go they grab your hand And don't let go Try to make you stay They embrace you, give you everything you need But they don't understand One more day in your world You keep on trying to avoid Listening to what they say All caught up in yourself Can't stop dwelling on the past Just another wasted day No, you don't care about what they tell you They just make you feel insane And you won't talk about what you've been through You just live with the pain They can't see through your eyes You stand aside and analyze Every move that they make But if you take a good look around It won't be long until you find They care for you and everything they do Is for your own good
8.
Shell 03:49
People around can't always tell Whether you're in or out of your shell Finding the corners, sitting alone You turn out the light and hang up the phone You're looking at me through desert eyes That these empty conversations can't hide But you can count on me to be there When you decide it's too much to bear So far and yet so close You think that things will only get worse The extra mile will take forever When you think you're already there The way may seem to be far too long When you insist on traveling alone Trusting people may not be so bad Forget the fears that you've always had Pick yourself up from down in the dirt Once in a while you are bound to get hurt The extra mile will take forever When you think you're already there The way may seem to be far too long When you insist on traveling alone
9.
Wasteland 04:14
For so many years you were locked away And you never really got the opportunity To blossom, and pass on your masterpiece creation They're so ignorant, they don't understand, You were always longing for a chance To abandon this wasteland and never have to pretend Everything's okay And you're the same as everybody else So stop apologizing There's nothing wrong with being different Despite their accusations You've always proven that you're better Take a look around, everything you see Is their twisted version of reality They live in, and you've been forced to believe them Erase your memories from so long ago Now you're capable of so much more Just let go, now you know exactly what you're here for Everything's okay You're not the same as everybody else So stop apologizing There's nothing wrong with being different Despite their accusations You've always proven that you're better
10.
Goodbye 03:53
You stood by me through the hardest times You gave me everything, you were my solid ground You picked me up when I was down And you were there when there was no one else around No, I'm not turning my back on you There's something I've got to do I'm torn between these two worlds And I don't ever want to have to choose Hi, goodbye again It's time for me to go I'll miss you, I promise to try Not to be gone for long Been chasing time, to make it last And now another year has gone so fast Gone back and forth for way too long And I know I need to decide where I belong Everywhere I go I think of you And how I've broken your heart in two Please don't give up on me just yet I know we'll find a way to make it through Hi, goodbye again It's time for me to go I'll miss you, I promise to try Not to be gone for long I've been trying to explain to you That it's not your fault I still feel so close to you Despite the distance Hi, goodbye again It's time for me to go I'll miss you, I promise to try Not to be gone for long
11.
Over 03:24
Hurry and come inside, Leave everything behind 'Cause they'll burn you alive And take everything you have. Forget everything you know, It's no use anymore, You'll be safer in here, Safer in here. How do you get to where you're going Hiding away and never knowing? How do you get to where you're going Hiding away and never knowing? Stay where you're paralyzed And color inside the lines, Don't you dare drift away To some other territory, And follow the ones ahead, The morally impaired 'Cause it's safer this way, Safer this way. How do you get to where you're going Hiding away and never knowing? How do you get to where you're going Hiding away and never knowing? Why do you waste your precious hours Standing in line with all the cowards? Why do you waste your precious hours Standing in line with all the cowards?
12.
Junkie 04:34
13.
You're wasting your life waiting Waiting for it to come You do nothing to get there You just sit there waiting numb You're the prisoner of your own doubts Surrounded by enemies Selfish pride with your last breath Eventually willing to give in You're falling to the ground I'll be waiting down there Waiting for your crash This time I won't help you I won't miss you so take care You watch everyone around you Think about the life you could've had You just sit there like a stone Seems like that's what you do best You won't even take a small step You chase your tail instead of your dreams So I'll take this small step for you And put you out of misery

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released June 15, 2023

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